I say I am gonna try writing to you. I think I am starting to feel better already. I am not sure what you are going to tell me, but I know what you tell me is going to be real.
I am 30 right now, and a man. I know men don’t normally write letters. But my problem is I am afraid of sex, I think. Or just disgusted by sex, I think. I do not know what is wrong. All I know is I have no desire to have sex. I had sex 1 time in my life. I was only 14. My friends forced me to have sex with this fat woman that lived on my block. She was in her early 40s. I guess I was young and dumb but people stood by waiting to see me have sex with her and it was a terrible experience. I ejaculated and didn’t know what it was and everyone laughed at me.
Since then I said I refuse to ever have sex with a woman. Then people say I am gay. I know for a fact I have NO attraction to men. I love women. I see them and I get butterflies in my stomach. But I just get afraid when it comes time to sex. Is there hope for me?”
Yeh you need to see a shrink. You basically lost your virginity by being raped. That is not something that is going to sit well with you for the rest of your life. You need to talk to someone about it and let them over come your fears!!!
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